5chon Greentexts

[Anon]

> Be me

> First day at new job

> NervousAF.jpg

> Boss introduces me to everyone

> Super chill atmosphere

> Assigned to work with this dude, let's call him Chad

> Chad looks like he stepped out of a cologne commercial

> Super handsome, confident, the works

> Feeling even more nervous now

> Chad notices and starts cracking jokes to ease the tension

> Turns out he's a bro

> We start talking about interests

> Find out we both love gaming

> Instant connection

> Rest of the day flies by

> At the end of the day, Chad invites me to grab a drink after work

> Hell yeah, I'm in

> Turns out, Chad's not just a coworker, he's a bro for life

> MFW I made a friend on my first day

[Anon]

> Working at a fish food company

> Smells like a mermaid's armpit

> Boss is Bil Gil, a crusty sea captain lookalike

> Always shouting "Hoist the sales, ye scallywags!"

> Co-workers are a mix of stoners and marine biology nerds

> Spend half the day dodging flying fish pellets

> Bil Gil's favorite pastime is recounting his "great sea adventures"

> One time he claims he wrestled a kraken with his bare hands

> Co-workers exchange skeptical looks

> Office morale at an all-time low

> Decide to organize a prank on Bil Gil

> Fill his office with inflatable sea creatures

> Bil Gil walks in, sees the scene, bursts out laughing

> "Ye scurvy dogs got me good this time!"

> Suddenly, he's not so scary anymore

> Rest of the day is filled with laughter and camaraderie

> Maybe this place isn't so bad after all

[horsehater2]

> Craving some McNuggets

> Walk into McDonald's

> Place is surprisingly empty

> Suddenly, a horse walks in

> MFW I'm not even surprised anymore

> Horse walks up to the counter

> Orders nothing but a cup of ice

> Cashier looks confused but obliges

> Horse reaches into its saddlebag

> Pulls out a bottle of juice

> "Hey kid, wanna buy some of my favorite juice?"

> Cashier stares in disbelief

> Horse starts pouring juice into the cup of ice

> "It's made from the finest apples in Equestria"

> Cashier: "Sir, I think you need to leave"

> Horse gives a disappointed neigh

> Leaves without spilling a drop of juice

> MFW I witness a horse trying to hustle McDonald's